Geraldine

Geraldine has spent almost 27 years fostering, welcoming over 100 children into her home with patience, honesty and an open heart. Check out below as she shares the wisdom, unexpected moments and quiet joys that have shaped her journey – and why fostering remains the most rewarding thing she’s ever done.

“My name is Geraldine, and I’ve been fostering for 26 and a half years now. I’ve had over 100 children come through my home, and I’m still going. If I can do it, anyone watching this can do it too. All you really need is patience, and an understanding that children won’t suddenly change just because they’ve come into your home – you wouldn’t expect your own children to change for someone else. You have to accept that you’re welcoming children who have been through trauma, and that everything they bring with them is part of their story.

“Over the years, many of my foster children have come back to see me… a lot of them! Many now have children of their own, and I’ve somehow become a grandmother to 36 foster grandchildren. I’ve got three natural grandchildren as well, and I love all of them equally, every single one.

“When a child comes through my door, the first thing I say is, ‘You’re very welcome. Don’t be worried. We’ve been waiting for you.’ Some people might take that the wrong way, but I mean it genuinely. They’re coming into an extended family, into a house of love. They’re not expected to be perfect – none of us are. If we’re honest with ourselves, none of us would pass a test of perfection, so how could we expect a frightened child to? With all their insecurities and what some might call “odd behaviour,” they’re just trying to work out where they fit. Over time, all of that changes. They settle. You can see the difference even after a week, but after a year it’s like having a different child. Social workers will confirm that.

“Children who come into care are well looked after, and it sets them up for whatever comes next. If they go home, that’s wonderful. And if they don’t, and they stay in touch with their parents, the parents still get the comfort of knowing their child is loved and cared for by more than one family. Sometimes that’s a blessing, sometimes it’s complicated – but that’s life.

“You’ll also come across children from different faiths. For me, the way to handle this is simple: I ask. I’m fortunate to have neighbours and fellow foster carers from a variety of faiths and backgrounds, and if I’m unsure how to observe a festival or respect a tradition, I’ll ask someone who knows. Sometimes I request a social worker of that faith to come and talk everything through with me and the child, so we’re all confident and comfortable. I’m Christian, and I celebrate Christmas, not everyone does, but I’ve never had a child who didn’t enjoy receiving presents – we just don’t label them as “Christmas presents” unless the child wants us to. They simply become ‘your present pile’. It’s easy to learn how to celebrate someone else’s special days, and sometimes it opens your eyes to things you never would have experienced otherwise.

“I once had two children from Outer Mongolia arrive, a brother and sister. They came just a week before one of their major celebrations, and the older one was visibly upset – she couldn’t tell me why, and I couldn’t communicate with her either. We had to call the interpreter service, and once we realised what was going on, I did some very quick shopping and we managed the celebration together. Through sign language, interpreters, and a lot of patience, we made it a good day. Even when something feels unexpected, you can still make it special.

“When I first started fostering, I used to take short-term placements – a week, two weeks, a month. Children would either move on to other carers or return home, depending on how things were progressing. After a few years, though, I decided to take on long-term fostering. The young people in care need stability, and you find that you want to be part of building that for them. My first long-term placement lasted six years, then the next one was 11 years, and in between I always had little ones coming and going. I used to foster two at a time, but once one of my young people started A levels, I reduced it to one. And even when foster children turn 18, they often don’t leave – they decide to go to university, to do master’s degrees, to keep growing. I’ve had young people complete master’s programmes, start degrees, and I’ve got a very young one now who might be with me for another ten years yet.

“When you go into fostering, you have to go in with an open mind. You have to be truthful and sincere with children, but you also need strong boundaries – not rigid ones, just clear ones that can move with negotiation rather than with bad behaviour. If you can do that, you’ll be a very happy foster carer.

“If I could give one piece of advice to every foster carer, it would be this: you can’t change for a child, and you can’t expect a child to change for you. It’s a two-way street. Sometimes the match is perfect, and sometimes it isn’t, but the matching process is usually right. Keep going, because when it works out – and it will – it’s the most rewarding thing you’ll ever do.”